Estimated reading time: 10 minutes, 44 seconds. Contains 2149 words
What is sin?
If you are ever in a Christian church for more than 30 seconds, you will hear some version of this word. I don't know about you, but when I hear the word, I immediately think of a list. A sort of opposite to-do list: A To-Don't List.
Don't...
1. Lie
2. Cuss
3. Drink alcohol
4. Have sex before marriage (the jury's still out on whether it's just intercourse that counts)
5. Watch porn
6. Steal (from another person or a business...but take all the tax breaks you possibly can)
7. Cheat (see above stipulations)
8. Smoke cigarettes
9. Smoke marijuana
10. Do any type of drug (except for prescribed and over-the-counter)
11. Gossip (unless it's in the form of a prayer request)
12. Physically hurt someone (spanking your child doesn't count)
13. Gamble
14. Disobey authority (unless you're speeding...5-10 miles over is okay...J-walking is okay, too)
15. Be gay (IMPORTANT. I know a lot of us wake up every day thinking, should I be gay today or no? Just say no!)
16. Work on the Sabbath (lol this one doesn't really matter anymore to anyone besides maybe Chick-fil-A, and we are always a little peeved that they chose to obey this commandment so dutifully when we think about going there on a Sunday only to remember they're closed...my DISpleasure, Chick-fil-A!!!!)
I could go on with this list. I mean, I could actually do a whole subsection of sins that were specific to my private Christian school as a junior high/high school girl (like, having belly button rings - which inevitably lead to doing #4 - or painting your finger nails black, or reading the Twilight saga - an obvious version of #5), but I don't want to get off on a tangent. And, honestly, I get it. We had rules for a reason. But it really is as though the school made all of these innocent things out to be sins, because by doing those things, that somehow made us more liable to sin (or cause others to sin)...which in itself was a sin. Okay, the tangent is coming. And it's kind of a feminist one. You better just close this tab out now. I'm trying to stop myself, but really? Why did the girls have all the rules? Was it because we were such temptations to boys? Is that really how you want girls to see themselves? You do understand that by doing that, you're telling young women that it doesn't matter who they are, it pretty much only matters what they wear and what they look like. Gross...
Can you tell I've struggled with this? I'm not blaming it entirely on CCS's dumb dresscode. Rules like this were/are a thing in any church/Christian atmosphere. I remember one time hearing a female leader telling a group of junior high/high school girls that we shouldn't let our bra straps show, because she had heard from her significant other, a male leader, that bra straps were tempting or some B.S. That male "leader" is definitely a sex addict now. Again...GROSS. Okay, I'm stopping. ARE YOU HAPPY?
What was I even talking about? Oh, yeah. Sin. SIN. Sin... that big, ominous, but kind of vague word we hear ALL THE TIME in church. We're all sinners in need of a savior. Sin separates us from God. All bad things in the world happen because of sin. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Repent for your sins.
I've been reading the Bible lately. This is really crazy, but did you know that when you read the Bible, you learn about who God is? Like, you actually learn for yourself who God is and what He wants to speak to you. I grew up reading the Bible. I am familiar with the Bible. Turns out being familiar with God is hugely different from knowing Him. Hearing about someone through what others tell you falls far short from actually getting to know that person yourself.
I cannot express how grateful and humbled I am to have found God time. and time. again. in the pages (screens) of His Word (my Bible app) recently. THIS is who I knew God was - or at least suspected Him to be - who I wanted Him to be, when people had me convinced otherwise.
And this is what He's revealed to me about sin. I'm going to back it up with the actual Bible, so you know I'm not just making crap up.
What I've learned is that SIN is not a simple, measly action. It's not taking a puff of a cigarette. It's not rolling your eyes at someone. It's not yelling a curse word when you stub your toe, and don't pretend like you don't do it every time you stub your toe - why is it so painful, though?! I mean, all of those things can definitely be sins, but when the Bible talks about sin, I think it's so much bigger than what we're thinking.
We humans like things to be neat. We like our lives to be laid out in such a way that everything makes sense. So we make our lists - our To-do's and our To-don'ts. It's easier that way. When we follow our to-do list, we can give ourselves a pat on the back. And when we do something on our to-don't list, we know that we need to pray or say sorry or whatever it is we need to do to fix it, to make it right. We do it with our chores at home, our tasks at work, our relationships with our significant others, kids, and friends... and we do it with God.
And I'm sure God appreciates the gesture, but I think He sometimes wants to shake us, because we have no idea how small we're making this issue seem when we turn it into a To-Don't list. It's easier to swallow, sure, but it's misleading and probably a little bit dangerous, because we've MISSED THE POINT.
You see...
Sin is not just taking a drink of alcohol or a pill at a party. Sin is the absolute hopelessness, desperation, and darkness of addiction.
Sin is not simply going to third base with a boy you don't even like in the backseat of your car. Sin is the total lack of dignity and worth that comes from feeling like your only value is in what you can offer sexually.
Sin is not necessarily talking bad about someone's appearance or making fun of someone who's different from you. Sin is hating yourself so much that the only way you can have a fleeting moment of confidence is to put someone else down.
Sin is not the sole act of watching porn one night while you're all alone. Sin is the deep loneliness that you've created by convincing yourself that this is what it means to be intimate with another human being.
Sin is not missing church or neglecting to read your Bible. Sin is the confusion of not knowing who God says you are, and the chaos of not knowing how much more, how much better He has for you.
Sin is what separates us from God. It is both the action and the inevitable consequence of living contrary to who God is. There is a reason that the Bible so often talks about sin in the same sentences it does death and slavery. When you are caught up in any kind of sin, when it consumes you - and it very well can, no matter how strong you think you may be - your life is not a life at all. And you are a slave. You are chained to whatever your addiction may be. And I'm not just talking about drugs. I'm talking about a cycle of self-loathing and self-harming and others-harming.
And here's the thing. Sin separates us from God, not because God stops loving us or moves away from us or turns His back on us. The Bible tells us exactly opposite of that: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ," writes Paul in Romans 8. "Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? No, I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (v. 35-39, ESV)
Remember in the Garden of Eden, how after Adam and Eve ate the fruit that God specifically told them not to eat, they hid from him? They realized they were naked and covered themselves in leaves, and they literally tried to hide from God. Honestly, they were kind of stupid. But then again, I guess we all are. Anyway, I think that's a perfect picture of what sin does to a relationship with God. Where there is sin, there is shame, and shame makes us run. It makes us hide. It makes us pull away. It makes us feel unworthy. Oh, how unworthy shame makes us feel.
It is no secret that I am not good with money. My parents have helped me for far longer than I deserved to be helped; I was fortunate enough to get scholarships throughout college; I have friends who have flat-out given me money when I was broke...as an adult. I have no excuses. I'm not disciplined. I've struggled with a gambling addition in the not-so-distant past. I've just blown a lot of money. And for that, I feel completely and utterly unworthy. I feel shame. I do not feel deserving of God's grace (because I'm not).
But right now...I'm in need of a financial miracle. I am struggling financially, and I need something. And it is so hard for me to pray for that, you guys, because I just simply do not deserve it. I could let that feeling overwhelm me, and I could say, forget it, God. I'll figure it out on my own. Don't you worry about this, this is all my fault. In fact, you know what I kind of want to do? Go on down to ole Riverwind (gamblers call it "Neverwin") and put the $7 I have in Lucky Ducky, because what have I really got to lose?
That would be me running from God. Rejecting His love and His grace. And that may be exactly the place you are in. You may be in the heart of addiction, where it feels like you will never get out and you will never turn it around, so what the hell does it matter? You may be in a toxic relationship where everyone in your life is telling you you're worth more, but you feel so worthless that you actually feel you deserve that relationship. You may be in a place where you've kind of just ignored God for so long that you feel like it's really too late to be who He wanted you to be in the first place. You feel like that ship has sailed and so you'll keep going on without Him.
But please, hear this. God is not afraid of your sin. He is not intimidated by it. He is not deterred by the repercussions. He is not hesitant to rescue you. He is not worried that He might lose. In fact...He's already won.
In looking back through my journal trying to find verses describing sin or talking about its effects, what I'm reading is exactly what God has revealed to me over the past several weeks of being in His Word:
- There is no condemnation in Jesus Christ, for you have been set free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:1,2)
- The Lord declares, I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds NO MORE (Hebrews 10:17)
- The Lord says, "My grace is sufficient for you and my power is made perfect in your weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9)
- We can approach God with boldness and confidence, because of what Jesus did (Ephesians 3:12)
- If anyone sins, we have an ADVOCATE with the Father - Christ Jesus (1 John 2:1)
- Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more" (John 8:11)
This list could go on, but that's just what I picked up on as I skimmed through my journal. It's just kind of perfectly clear to me that sin is awful and horrible; but that God is bigger. Listen...It's going to be really hard to let go of whatever sin it is that has you captive. You probably have Stockholm Syndrome. You love your sin, because it does meet your needs, however temporarily and inadequately. But whatever you're struggling with; whatever has a hold on you, I can promise you this...God is so much better. He's so much more capable of meeting your deepest needs. And He is not afraid to meet you in the darkest places of you life and pull you out whenever you're ready to let Him. In fact...He's been waiting there all along.
What is sin?
If you are ever in a Christian church for more than 30 seconds, you will hear some version of this word. I don't know about you, but when I hear the word, I immediately think of a list. A sort of opposite to-do list: A To-Don't List.
Don't...
1. Lie
2. Cuss
3. Drink alcohol
4. Have sex before marriage (the jury's still out on whether it's just intercourse that counts)
5. Watch porn
6. Steal (from another person or a business...but take all the tax breaks you possibly can)
7. Cheat (see above stipulations)
8. Smoke cigarettes
9. Smoke marijuana
10. Do any type of drug (except for prescribed and over-the-counter)
11. Gossip (unless it's in the form of a prayer request)
12. Physically hurt someone (spanking your child doesn't count)
13. Gamble
14. Disobey authority (unless you're speeding...5-10 miles over is okay...J-walking is okay, too)
15. Be gay (IMPORTANT. I know a lot of us wake up every day thinking, should I be gay today or no? Just say no!)
16. Work on the Sabbath (lol this one doesn't really matter anymore to anyone besides maybe Chick-fil-A, and we are always a little peeved that they chose to obey this commandment so dutifully when we think about going there on a Sunday only to remember they're closed...my DISpleasure, Chick-fil-A!!!!)
I could go on with this list. I mean, I could actually do a whole subsection of sins that were specific to my private Christian school as a junior high/high school girl (like, having belly button rings - which inevitably lead to doing #4 - or painting your finger nails black, or reading the Twilight saga - an obvious version of #5), but I don't want to get off on a tangent. And, honestly, I get it. We had rules for a reason. But it really is as though the school made all of these innocent things out to be sins, because by doing those things, that somehow made us more liable to sin (or cause others to sin)...which in itself was a sin. Okay, the tangent is coming. And it's kind of a feminist one. You better just close this tab out now. I'm trying to stop myself, but really? Why did the girls have all the rules? Was it because we were such temptations to boys? Is that really how you want girls to see themselves? You do understand that by doing that, you're telling young women that it doesn't matter who they are, it pretty much only matters what they wear and what they look like. Gross...
Can you tell I've struggled with this? I'm not blaming it entirely on CCS's dumb dresscode. Rules like this were/are a thing in any church/Christian atmosphere. I remember one time hearing a female leader telling a group of junior high/high school girls that we shouldn't let our bra straps show, because she had heard from her significant other, a male leader, that bra straps were tempting or some B.S. That male "leader" is definitely a sex addict now. Again...GROSS. Okay, I'm stopping. ARE YOU HAPPY?
What was I even talking about? Oh, yeah. Sin. SIN. Sin... that big, ominous, but kind of vague word we hear ALL THE TIME in church. We're all sinners in need of a savior. Sin separates us from God. All bad things in the world happen because of sin. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Repent for your sins.
I've been reading the Bible lately. This is really crazy, but did you know that when you read the Bible, you learn about who God is? Like, you actually learn for yourself who God is and what He wants to speak to you. I grew up reading the Bible. I am familiar with the Bible. Turns out being familiar with God is hugely different from knowing Him. Hearing about someone through what others tell you falls far short from actually getting to know that person yourself.
I cannot express how grateful and humbled I am to have found God time. and time. again. in the pages (screens) of His Word (my Bible app) recently. THIS is who I knew God was - or at least suspected Him to be - who I wanted Him to be, when people had me convinced otherwise.
And this is what He's revealed to me about sin. I'm going to back it up with the actual Bible, so you know I'm not just making crap up.
What I've learned is that SIN is not a simple, measly action. It's not taking a puff of a cigarette. It's not rolling your eyes at someone. It's not yelling a curse word when you stub your toe, and don't pretend like you don't do it every time you stub your toe - why is it so painful, though?! I mean, all of those things can definitely be sins, but when the Bible talks about sin, I think it's so much bigger than what we're thinking.
We humans like things to be neat. We like our lives to be laid out in such a way that everything makes sense. So we make our lists - our To-do's and our To-don'ts. It's easier that way. When we follow our to-do list, we can give ourselves a pat on the back. And when we do something on our to-don't list, we know that we need to pray or say sorry or whatever it is we need to do to fix it, to make it right. We do it with our chores at home, our tasks at work, our relationships with our significant others, kids, and friends... and we do it with God.
And I'm sure God appreciates the gesture, but I think He sometimes wants to shake us, because we have no idea how small we're making this issue seem when we turn it into a To-Don't list. It's easier to swallow, sure, but it's misleading and probably a little bit dangerous, because we've MISSED THE POINT.
You see...
Sin is not just taking a drink of alcohol or a pill at a party. Sin is the absolute hopelessness, desperation, and darkness of addiction.
Sin is not simply going to third base with a boy you don't even like in the backseat of your car. Sin is the total lack of dignity and worth that comes from feeling like your only value is in what you can offer sexually.
Sin is not necessarily talking bad about someone's appearance or making fun of someone who's different from you. Sin is hating yourself so much that the only way you can have a fleeting moment of confidence is to put someone else down.
Sin is not the sole act of watching porn one night while you're all alone. Sin is the deep loneliness that you've created by convincing yourself that this is what it means to be intimate with another human being.
Sin is not missing church or neglecting to read your Bible. Sin is the confusion of not knowing who God says you are, and the chaos of not knowing how much more, how much better He has for you.
Sin is what separates us from God. It is both the action and the inevitable consequence of living contrary to who God is. There is a reason that the Bible so often talks about sin in the same sentences it does death and slavery. When you are caught up in any kind of sin, when it consumes you - and it very well can, no matter how strong you think you may be - your life is not a life at all. And you are a slave. You are chained to whatever your addiction may be. And I'm not just talking about drugs. I'm talking about a cycle of self-loathing and self-harming and others-harming.
And here's the thing. Sin separates us from God, not because God stops loving us or moves away from us or turns His back on us. The Bible tells us exactly opposite of that: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ," writes Paul in Romans 8. "Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? No, I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (v. 35-39, ESV)
Remember in the Garden of Eden, how after Adam and Eve ate the fruit that God specifically told them not to eat, they hid from him? They realized they were naked and covered themselves in leaves, and they literally tried to hide from God. Honestly, they were kind of stupid. But then again, I guess we all are. Anyway, I think that's a perfect picture of what sin does to a relationship with God. Where there is sin, there is shame, and shame makes us run. It makes us hide. It makes us pull away. It makes us feel unworthy. Oh, how unworthy shame makes us feel.
It is no secret that I am not good with money. My parents have helped me for far longer than I deserved to be helped; I was fortunate enough to get scholarships throughout college; I have friends who have flat-out given me money when I was broke...as an adult. I have no excuses. I'm not disciplined. I've struggled with a gambling addition in the not-so-distant past. I've just blown a lot of money. And for that, I feel completely and utterly unworthy. I feel shame. I do not feel deserving of God's grace (because I'm not).
But right now...I'm in need of a financial miracle. I am struggling financially, and I need something. And it is so hard for me to pray for that, you guys, because I just simply do not deserve it. I could let that feeling overwhelm me, and I could say, forget it, God. I'll figure it out on my own. Don't you worry about this, this is all my fault. In fact, you know what I kind of want to do? Go on down to ole Riverwind (gamblers call it "Neverwin") and put the $7 I have in Lucky Ducky, because what have I really got to lose?
That would be me running from God. Rejecting His love and His grace. And that may be exactly the place you are in. You may be in the heart of addiction, where it feels like you will never get out and you will never turn it around, so what the hell does it matter? You may be in a toxic relationship where everyone in your life is telling you you're worth more, but you feel so worthless that you actually feel you deserve that relationship. You may be in a place where you've kind of just ignored God for so long that you feel like it's really too late to be who He wanted you to be in the first place. You feel like that ship has sailed and so you'll keep going on without Him.
But please, hear this. God is not afraid of your sin. He is not intimidated by it. He is not deterred by the repercussions. He is not hesitant to rescue you. He is not worried that He might lose. In fact...He's already won.
In looking back through my journal trying to find verses describing sin or talking about its effects, what I'm reading is exactly what God has revealed to me over the past several weeks of being in His Word:
- There is no condemnation in Jesus Christ, for you have been set free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:1,2)
- The Lord declares, I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds NO MORE (Hebrews 10:17)
- The Lord says, "My grace is sufficient for you and my power is made perfect in your weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9)
- We can approach God with boldness and confidence, because of what Jesus did (Ephesians 3:12)
- If anyone sins, we have an ADVOCATE with the Father - Christ Jesus (1 John 2:1)
- Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more" (John 8:11)
This list could go on, but that's just what I picked up on as I skimmed through my journal. It's just kind of perfectly clear to me that sin is awful and horrible; but that God is bigger. Listen...It's going to be really hard to let go of whatever sin it is that has you captive. You probably have Stockholm Syndrome. You love your sin, because it does meet your needs, however temporarily and inadequately. But whatever you're struggling with; whatever has a hold on you, I can promise you this...God is so much better. He's so much more capable of meeting your deepest needs. And He is not afraid to meet you in the darkest places of you life and pull you out whenever you're ready to let Him. In fact...He's been waiting there all along.
Comments
Post a Comment