An Open Letter to Pastor Craig’s Biceps




Dear Pastor Craig and your inarguably fit body,

We can see you. We all can see you with your tight shirts and skinny jeans, as you wave your arms around and walk back and forth on the stage. And to be perfectly honest, it’s quite distracting. You look good, okay? Your wife is a lucky woman (and not bad-looking herself – y’all are basically Instagram models, if Instagram models were middle-aged pastors).

So does it make me a floozy to say that I am literally distracted by how you look? I don’t think it does, because if the tables were turned, and it was a woman who was wearing form-fitting clothing and distracting the men, we wouldn’t berate the men. In fact, we’d probably call that woman a floozy.

I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with showing a little skin. I think it’s important to wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. But Mr. Groeschel, I’m trying to think about Jesus. And if Jesus wants to walk up in here with his distressed tees, muscles bulging out, a little 5 o’clock shadow, then so be it. But your job is to preach the Word of God – not be an American Apparel model.

Whatever happened to the classic button-down collared shirt with some nice bootcut jeans? Or even a tee with a jacket, you know – casual meets formal. These are options I’m asking you to consider for the sake of the ladies. Contrary to popular belief, we are just as visually compelled as our male counterparts, and we have just as much of a biological and physiological desire to see attractive men as men do attractive women.

This is probably the first letter of its kind in all the span of history. You want to know why? Because no woman – especially no CHURCH woman – wants to admit that this might be an issue. Because she WILL be called a Biblical whore. 100%. The bottom line is, if women are expected not to wear shirts that show their midriffs or cleavage on stage, then men should be expected to be held to the same standard. Please cover yourself. In something a little looser. I will have to stop attending if all I can continue to focus on are your pecks.


Thank-you,


Christine, a 25 year-old, who is only moderately ashamed to sign this letter

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